A THIN LINE OF THREAD 

by: Candice Feldstein [candice@feldstein.net] 

How long does a thread last?  I know as one with bipolar disorder. When Iím functioning with no symptoms, I have normal thought processes and movements with nothing lurking inside my head except a tremor.  When symptoms develop my intellect and drive start exploding.  Can I extend the thread and capture these moments?  I can, then enjoy it, and pay the consequences sometimes all at once.  Having a flurry of ideas walking tall, and sleeping gently after medication is no disguise for the thinness of the thread.  Staying in one place when your system slows down strengthens the thread. The thin line

Stiffens.

 

A PIECE OF THREAD

 

The way to write with bipolar disorder is a challenge.  The thought is there struggling to come out.  Words

splash on the page like a pointillistís canvas.  Every letter dictating a thought.  Every word building a sentence.  Every sentence telling a story.

Can one put in words the meaning of mania, depression?  A struggle to get free of either?  Try to catch a burst of enthusiasm, a rising thought, and a slide back to normalcy.  Itís not easy but the painted picture is already there.  Grab the canvas and shake the points off.  It drips into a surrealistís world capturing time, status and place.  Youíre on top of yourself and it feels good.  Keep your thoughts coming while you savor the points.  There is more reward in telling oneís story than in relinquishing itself into mindless scatter.

The reward is endless like the mindís potential.  Tell your mindís story as a piece of thread and there is no need to ignore your body.  Theyíll both tie together.

 

THE SPOOL OF LIFE

 

You have a story written.  Can it occupy your mind and your life?  Think back and capture your life points.

Every turn of the spool circles your experiences, hopes, and dreams.  Not always in place the thread is still there on the spool.  It tells of the twists and turns, the ups and downs, the successes, and the failures.  The thread can be put back straight on the spool like our life experiences.  It takes a long time to get to the end of a spool of thread.  Most people never do.  Bipolar people  need to have a new spool so the thread is always there.  A slim price to pay for the spool of life.

 

KNOT THE THREAD

 

Is knotting the thread difficult in the spool of life?  It always is.  Your mind can tie it for you. A strong thread can tie the knot of a panicked life. One is nervous, then paranoid, and against the wind. Always

Alert but never there.. One is held secure between two differing blows at the same time. Break out

And tie the mindís knot. Youíll be secure in the way you tied it all together. Lifeís travails are the knot

But the leftover string is your thin line of thread.

 

THE YARN OF THE STORY

 

Have you had your thought jangle today?  A thought jangle is a positive or negative interruption

In your thought process or sleeping state by another living being or yourself.  Everybody has both.

People with bipolar disorder have more negative interruptions than most-especially with themselves.

A garbled thought is better than no thought at all.  It spins its way and goes only where it knows how

Into something positive or negative. We can all enjoy the positives but the negative is the yarn of the

Story. Let it lie and it will pass onto oblivion like a ball of unused yarn that can make a quilt to patch

Your mind. A thin line of thread strengthens the patches. A mix of yarn and thread makes a good yarn

Of a jangled story.

 

TIE THE LOOP

 

Facing your challenges and succeeding closes the loop on your last stitch. I finished stitching, therefore I succeeded. When you accomplish and succeed an emptiness lifts. You loop is your way to exercise a rising thought, a creative chase, or a new endeavor. It tightens and a new approach to success will start.

 

BREAKING THE THREAD

 

From one piece of thread to the next is a narrow opening of life. Grab the spool and extend the line of thread until your thoughts take hold and you start once again to piece together that thin line which makes up the thread. The illness leaves a line that can be transformed to a start into a mental security.  Breaking the thread completes your move and extends lifeís safe feelings.

 

SPOOLS OF THREAD

 

Blue (sky) A clear sky on a spring day brings a soothing light feeling to a closed mind.

 

Red (sensual) A rapturous climb to a bodily high makes one stay with oneís mind.

 

Yellow (passive disregard) A stray in the way of a lucid thought and a mood of temptation overwrought.

 

Green (an eveningís walk) A relaxing stroll through a park and a strengthening of a tattered soul.

 

Pink ( a soothing kiss) A glide with a person in a rose petal while in a feathery velvet daze.

 

Purple (a neutral thought) A moment to rest your mind and leave aside any moments that arise.

 

Orange (a great time)A movie, party, or friend and a big rhyme for an empty time.

 

White (a clear mind) A restful transparency and an ease of thought.

 

THE WHOLE YARN

 

What gives a beautiful peak into a piece of thread

Is a standing spool to wind your head

Colors galore take a spin

To tell a tale of all within

In a row a luminous rainbow

Keeps one mentally sound in crackle

Always begin to catch a wind

Of sound not heard when you begin

Medicine will reign on all that falls

Listen to your head that only crawls

Soon the threadís turn will be met

And a peaceful ride will ensue oneís head

 

A piece of thread can make a whole yarn.

 

 

 

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