|Kodiak ~ some personal thoughts
When I decided to add a message board at Bipolar World in response to
requests by several visitors to the website I "talked" to Kodiak about
it. I had met him some time earlier and chatted with him in various
Bipolar Disorder support venues and had come to value and respect his input
and opinion. (little did I know it at the time that this
would grow in
strength as time went by). It was my intention to put up an unmonitored
message board. I was busy with the web site and didn't always have
time to be there. Kodiak was horrified that I would even consider
such a thing!! My response was that if he wanted it monitored he
would have to do it himself...and that was the beginning of his "job" as
message board monitor. I put up this picture of him which he would
often send new people to see...saying "you can even see what I look like
if you go here." He had quite a sense of humor.
In the time that he monitored the board we became close friends, and
talked frequently both on the net and by telephone. I learned about
his love for the environment, and the protection of it for the future.
He spoke often about the deer family who would come to the window of his
home...and his love of the beauty of nature. He talked about bicycling
and how good it felt to get out on his bike...often it was his transportation
to and from work.
His love for his family was evident in both his words and in the tone
of his voice. He spoke of his trips to Maine, the boating he loved
and the early morning swims before anyone else was awake. He told
me about "Ben's logs", a clear-cutting effort to preserve healthy growth
in the woods.
But mostly I knew him as a person with Bipolar Disorder. We shared
and supported each other through many trials in both of our lives and because
of that sharing grew closer. He was always there for me..always dependable..and
always strong in his support.
He looked after the message board with constant care and attention...sometimes
loving...sometimes caring...sometimes cajoling...sometimes pushing...but
always there for every person who posted. And his involvement went
way beyond what was done on the message board. He wrote countless
e-mails, did hours and hours of research, used his knowledge as a lawyer
to assist with legal queries...and stayed awake at night worrying when
someone was not doing well. Such dedication and care is almost unheard
of in this day and age.
I remember the phone calls we shared as we tried to locate someone who
was suicidal...and the way he would take charge, phoning local authorities
to ensure that help was available to that person. I also know the
hours and hours he spent on the phone (and paid for) talking to people
and encouraging them to go for help.
God doesn't make many people like Kodiak...and I'm sure that is why
we had him for such a short while. God has greater plans for him.
I miss him so much...and there will always be a special part of my heart
that belongs solely to him. We will meet again I know...in time.
A note to Kodiak~
I know that you wouldn't be too happy about all this attention and fuss
being paid to you. You always were a private person...but please
allow us our grief and our opportunity to remember.