My Sights

I thought I knew Who I was 
But now I see, the Truth was in me. 
God is love, patient and kind, 
His is the One Who guards my mind. 
Jesus Christ, God's One and Only Son, 
Wants my life to shine forth Him. 
The only "way" is to believe His Word, 
The only "how" is to receive His Life And He will guide me all my life. 
Cem 5-23-01 

Self Injury 

I try to hide my sin and shame. 
It's so ugly but it has a name.
Name it and treat it, then it goes away. 
NOT so easy some may say, I have to agree
as I've been wondering through this "treatment road"
and my mind seems to get so .. weary... under this heavy load. 
I don't want it! 
I hate it too! 
But God - somehow You see right thru
The pain, the tears and even the blood 
AND YOU still call be by my name in love. 
I confess my shameful acts 
But they still surround me and scare me. 
What am I missing?
There has to be one piece of the puzzle hidden? 
Where is it Lord?
 I have to know before I let this take away my life, then I die and SI wins. 
CEM 7-1-01 

STOPPING

Everyone sounds so confusing 
YES, I know I 'm the accused 
I am the criminal, victim and reporter.
The criminal who did this violent act
The victim who suffers the stitches, scares and shame 
The reporter who saw it all, but still knows nothing of this shame. 
I cry out loud now!
How many more consequences remain?
How many friendships will be lost?
How can I face my Lord with this act?
The criminal got caught - she is so angry 
The victim's so scared - will this happen again?
The reporter quits - this is all too insane. 
But this is not the end of the story. 
I was guilty, 
I confessed to the Judge 
Now I don't know what the next steps are? 
Healing has begun. 
Hope is still here. 
Dedicated to M.C. My friend. 
By Cem 7-9-01

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