POEMS BY CHRISTIE


 

Holes in My Soul

Ode to a Dying Sun

Drifting the Air

Bouncing Off the Nearest Star

Finger Painting Living

Summer or Fall

Shadows

What is Young Grows Tall

Years Gone By

Life is More

Heart Fated to Care

Body Bent to the Wind

 

 

Holes in My Soul

 

Holes in my soul
Fissures in my mind--
Scars on my heart
And stillness hard to find.

I long for a friend
To accept this lunar scene--
And value its vistas
As just a part of me.

 

Ode to a Dying Sun

 

Simple rhyme on crumpled paper,

Ode to a dying sun—

Last lights caper,

Amid vapor,

Spread of darkness begun.

 

As the sun bleeds from the sky,

And twilight folds its rose--

I say goodbye,

In one long sigh,

Breath wispy as a ghost.

 

The haze obscures the moon in part,

Swiping it soft and sheer—

Much like my heart,

Spreading apart,

To bring this instant near.

 

Drifting the Air

 

I’ve been hiding here for days,

Locked inside my heart--

The world outside in a haze,

While I have lost my star.

 

Sometimes I just need to ache,

And cry about the reason--

Drift the air as a snowflake,

Passing through the season.

 

My star is hidden by clouds,

That soon will melt away--

And I will shake off the shrouds,

Woven in another day.

 

Bouncing Off the Nearest Star

 

Sun letting loose in one last rose burst,

Fading into indigo night--

Fleeing the worst,

Lingering hurt,

I’m poised at the edge of flight.

 

Night is a reflecting pond for sighs,

Prisms of light from my heart--

My wishes fly,

Into the sky,

And bounce off the nearest star.

 

Finger Painting Living

 

Rising this morn and missed the dawn,

Sun is up and full blown,

Slept too long,

Heard no song,

Except my waking moan.

 

From within, feeling a swelling surge,

Billowing in my heart,

Nagging urge,

Playful lurch,

Spreading my soul apart.

 

Finger painting living day by night,

Colors any blankness,

Clearing light,

Cloudless sight,

In the edges of darkness.

 

Summer or Fall

 

Lost inside my head and wandering around,

Tears burning behind my eyes,

Need to vomit, can’t tell if I’m up or down,

Takes all my strength just to rise--

Life teams around me in one confusing sound,

Vitality slowly dies.

 

All of a sudden time threatens my reason,

Emerges empty and dull,

Fogged over to bewilder the season,

It could be summer or fall--

While I wallow on aimlessly and appeasing

The hollow sound of my soul.

 

Shadows

 

Reaching beyond the jagged rip in my soul,

Looking for you my son,

The bells in my mind quiet and then toll,

A rhythm never done,

You grow strong while I climb out of a hole,

Your race fresh and mine run.

 

Born of love between your father and I,

Sunshine lighting your face,

My heart thumped a tempo with your sigh,

No hurry and no haste,

Until the day your mind told you to die,

And I chose hell in your place.

 

I found faith in destiny and in God,

You live and I survive,

But it’s hard to see you beyond the fog,

Creeping between our lives,

I live in the shadows of my fight as Mom,

You need to grow and thrive. 

 

What Is Young Grows Tall

 

Grass struggling up to the light,

Almost hidden from view,

Sudden blight,

Sharp frostbite,

Left it fragile and new.

 

Grass shrivels with a death-like feel,

Much like the human heart,

Yet time heals,

What love steals,

And trust finds a new start.

 

Perhaps loss decays like old grass,

Covering what is false,

Fear fades last,

From the past,

Yet what is young grows tall.

 

Years Gone By

 

Widening rings of pain

Mirror life’s best and worst—

As tear drops of acid rain

Mar reflections of old hurts.

 

Years gone by lap at the reeds

Circling the bottomless pool--

Sunken logs of unmet needs

Blanched white as time flew.

 

Treacherous yet ever home

To wayward ducks and geese—

Old souls kept fresh and young

Through living the most and least.

 

Life is More

 

So many shadows behind my eyes,

Light ahead grows stronger—

I know as long as I’m alive,

I will fear my shadows no longer—

And however hard I fight to thrive,

Will be an effort to belong here.

 

Life is more than simply surviving,

Each moment a perfect tear—

Quenches the soul when it’s writhing,

Cleansing anguish and fear—

I’m done with cowering and hiding,

Ready to look in the mirror.

 

Heart Fated to Care

 

Rain misting the morning breeze,

Too fine to cling in drops,

Molding dead leaves,

Barren bleak trees,

Fog so sodden it flops.

 

Tears condensed under watch of night,

Welling from salted eyes,

Not wrong or right,

Red rimmed sight,

Gut clenched in silent cries.

 

Pain and passion share the same face,

Like delight and despair,

My fingers trace,

My own malaise,

To a heart fated to care.  

 

Body Bent to the Wind

 

Sand in my face, salt in my eyes,

I lick the sea from my lips—

As twilight bleeds through dimming skies

And the sharp wind steadily whips.

 

Solitude except for the gulls,

Squawking in a strident din—

Flying over the empty shells

Of all the women I have been.

 

The ebbing tide begins at my heart,

Debris strewn from twisting gales—

Old bones and broken branches start

Weathering and blanching pale.

 

I walk, body bent to the wind,

In the distance, waves froth and churn—

As inside my head my thoughts spin

Caught in tides that ever turn. 

 

Why is it mine to feel so deep?

To learn the folly of wishing?

Must I rest only in sleep?

Or can I die of existing?

 

The answer in my mouth and nose,

I suck it now with breathing--

Until my heart beats to a close,

I share this gift of feeling.

 

And when I can feel no more,

My essence will wash off this shore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

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