MENTAL HEALTH: MANIC-DEPRESSIVE: FAMILY
If you are one of the very few that have chosen to stay with your
here are a few things you can do.
1. You are not alone & You are not crazy.
a = although there is very few of us and I am one! That is why I am
2. You can not change what they are!
a = even if you were to run through-out the house naked & did
what every they said.
3. You must remember that you are #1
a = in mind, body and soul.
b = In the way you look, walk, talk you are #1.
4. You love the person and not the disorder.
a = that means that you do not walk on egg shells.
b = just because they enter the room you do not stop talking.
5. when you are in a discussion you keep it on the subject of the
a = "it is called the five minute rule".
b = If you are discussing that blue dress you keep it on the blue
dress and not go to football.
6. Go to a support group.
7. Find all the information you can. like books, TV, Radio, Internet
THE TWELVE THINGS *
1. Donít regard this as a family disgrace or a subject of shame.
2. Donít nag, preach or lecture to the person. Chances are he/she
has already told him or herself everything
you can tell them. He/she will take just so much and then shut
out the rest. You may only increase their feeling of isolation or force
them to make promises that they cannot
possibly keep. "I promise Iíll fell better tomorrow honey:
Iíll do it then okay?"
3. Guard against the "holier-then-thou or martyr-like" attitude.
It is possible to create this impression without saying a word.
A person suffering from a mood disorder has an emotional sensitivity
he/she judges other peopleís attitudes toward him/her more by
even small ones then by the spoken words.
4. Donít use the "if you loved me" appeal. Since
persons with mood disorder are not in
control of their affection, this approach only increases guilt.
"It is like saying if you loved me you would not have
5. Avoid any threats unless you think it through carefully and
definitely intend to carry them out! There may be times, of
course, when a specific action is necessary to protect children. Idle
threats only make the person feel you donít mean what you say.
6. If the person uses drug and/or alcohol, donít take it away from
them or try to hid it.
Usually this only pushes the person into a state of depression.
In the end he/she will simply find new ways of getting more dug or
alcohol if he/she wants them badly enough.
This is not the time or place for a power struggle.
7. On the other hand, if excessive use of dug and/or alcohol is
really a problem donít let the person
persuade you to use drugs or drink with him/her on the grounds that it
will make him/whir use less. It rarely doss. Besides, when you
Condemn the use of drugs or alcohol, it is likely to cause the person to
put off seeking necessary help.
8. Donít be jealous of the method of recovery the person choose.
The tendency is to think that love of home and family is enough
incentive to get well, and that outside
therapy should not be needed.
9. Donít expect an immediate 100% recovery. In any illness, there
is period of
convalescence. There may be relapse and times of tension and
10. "DONíT TRY" to protect the person from
situations which you believe they might find
stressful or depressing. One of the quickest ways to push someone with a
mood disorder away from you is to make them
feel like you want them to be dependent on
you. Each person must learn for themselves what works best for them.
Especially in social situations. If, for example, you try to shush
people who ask questions about the disorder, treatment, medications,
ect.ect., you will most likely stir up old
feelings of resentment and inadequacy.
Let the person decide for THEMSELVES whether to answer the questions,
gracefully say "Iíd prefer to discuss something else,
and I really hope that doesnít offend you."
11.Donít do for the person that which he/she can do for
You cannot take the medicine for them, you cannot feel their,
feelings and you cannot solve their,
problems fore him/her. SO DONíT TRY.
Donít remove problems before the person can face them, solve them
or suffer the consequences.
12. Do Offer Love, Support, and understanding in the recovery,
regardless of the method chosen. For example, some people choose to take
meds; some choose not to.
Each has advantage and disadvantage "more side-effect versus
higher instances of reaps, for
example." Expressing disapproval of the method chosen will only
deepen the personís feeling that anything they do will be wrong.
If you what to learn more about bipolar disorder there is a lot of
If you what to learn more about yourself when and how you deal with
them come to a support group.
DMD OF GREATER FLINT AREA FAMILY & FRIENDS OF.
Beginners group is held at McLaren Regional Medical Center at 401 S.
Flint, MI. In dinning room #2 on the ground floor from 2:30- 4: PM.
on the first and third Sunday of the month.
HOPE IS ALL WE GOT TO GO ON. BUT WHAT IS LIFE IF IS NOT HOPE FOR A
BETTER TOMORROW From 29 years of "LIVING WITH ONE "
For more information call 1-810-789-3609 or fax 1-810-789-3675 email
* the twelve things is a reprint from http://graves.ipl.co.uk/~wiz/bipindex.html