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Am I severely depressed?
Q: I wrote to you a while ago,.. I feel completely useless, the world, &
my children would be so much better off without tme. I have NOTHING to offer
them, I love them COMPLETELY, but i have nothing more than that to give. The
world is a bad place. Eveyone is bad. I'm very sad. I am a smart person. but
not. Is this "wrong thinking"? I think it is but isn't, I think I'm
wrong but so right. I cant get an appt. Do you know anyone who cares or accepts
United Health care Insurance? Are Psych. only happy with how much they make or
are they selfish like everyone else? People are lame, what I thought to believe
as the utilmate is wrong. I am 33, 4 wonderful kids, husband, am ready to be
done with it all. I will, and will suceed. Please help me..
Dear "Dee" --
Your words sound like "classic" depression -- that's how so many of
the people whom I've seen have sounded, at one time or another. I have a
patient in the hospital now who sounds exactly like that, exactly. So,
yes, this is not accurate or useful thinking (notice the spin change there, aka
"reframe" in psychojargon) you are thinking. Whoever is the
mental health type in charge of your care needs to know about this thinking.
Sometimes there's nothing in particular to do about it, because changing it for
some folks can a take a long time (this is the "personality disorder"
version of landing where you are). If you have had long periods of
time when things weren't like this, then you may have the bipolar or "major
depression" version, in which case there are things to do that can change
how you feel more quickly. In either case, you should be under the care of
a mental health system or provider and she/he/it should know that you are
thinking like this. And if you haven't read the lovely
essay about suicide from Metanoia, do so now.
Dr. Phelps
Published December, 2000
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