Diagnosing yourself
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Diagnosing yourself (Diana and Jonathan)

Q: I think I'm manic depressive but no one else thinks so. My mom thinks I have other problems. She wants me to see a psycologist. I don't know. I know something's wrong with me. I get very angry. Is it normal to have fantasies about mutilating people when you're angry? Is it normal to feel that no one really cares for me and they'd leave me in a second if something came up? I also write poems and books and retreat into my own world when I'm depressed. I love angry music like Limp Bizkit. Am I bipolar? I can't get anything done which is a problem. Either i'm too hyper or too depressed. But I don't want treatment because I don't want to lose my stories and my imagination which is the only thing that keeps me going. What should I do?

Dear Diana --
First of all, while you're working out whether you are "manic depressive", make sure you stay safe -- meaning, if you ever start to think about suicide (most people with symptoms like yours will have thought about it) and think you might actually act on those thoughts, tell somebody or get yourself to an emergency room, and read this.

Then, while you're safe, read my site about bipolar II:  it's about bipolar disorder that doesn't look as manic as "manic depressive".  But even that won't clearly answer your question about whether you have some bipolar thing, or whether your mom is right -- and you could easily both be right!

From the sounds of it, seeing a psychologist might be a good idea, to give you some feedback about what you're thinking and how it sounds.  If you need any help picking someone to see, here are some guidelines.

Overall, I would want you to have plenty of hope that either therapy or medications or even just time (if you don't have "bipolar disorder") will help things be different -- that is, it won't or doesn't have to stay like this.  Good luck to you.

Dr. Phelps

Published October, 2000

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