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Q: Is It My Personality or BP Disorder?
Dr. Phelps- I have been dx with BP for three years and three years
before that it was BPD. My main problem is depression but my manias which
come when I go off my mood stabilizer (topimax- 400mg/day) tend to have
psychotic features, the depressions don't. I lowered the dose of my Zyprexa
from the initial of 20mg a year ago to 2.5mg now. I tried to go off of it
but became a paranoid panic ridden insomniac who didn't leave the house. I
returned to 2.5mg. Even on 2.5mg I am still filled with racing paranoid
thoughts that are affecting my relationship and sabatoging it. I feel
irrational hostility, swinging moods and thoughts that are so tangled I
can't make sense of them. I normally spend alot of time in my head and was
put on the antipsychotic for insomnia not for the anitpsychotic features.
Is it just my personality or is it part of the illness? I can't
figure out if I am just making myself crazy.
Thankyou in advance
-kelly
Dear Kelly --
Until you're sleeping pretty well, and pretty much the same every night --
maybe waking up once but getting back to sleep pretty easily, and getting
7-8 hours of sleep -- then I'd figure you still have less-than-fully treated
bipolar disorder. And that "it's not personality, it's the
illness" until you reach that point of decent sleep. Your
symptoms are unfortunately fairly severe, but also unfortunately fairly
common. Ask your doc' about getting more aggressive with combinations
of mood stabilizers. Check out lamotrigine in particular, as for now
that's probably our best mood stabilizer with anti-depressant properties
"built in", except for lithium (which I would presume by now
you've tried and can't tolerate; otherwise you should ask about staying on a
low dose of it while adding other mood stabilizers). I don't
mean to tell you and your doc' what to do, only what you might research and
discuss with her/him.
Dr. Phelps
Published July, 2001 |