Q:  Is My Fiancée Ill?

Hello,

I am in a total mess with my fiancee. I have  had a very successful life and career till now and since i met my finacee, everything in my life is a disaster. I am wondering if he has a mental problem or bipolar disorder or something.

My fiancee has a very suspicious nature. He is professionally very very competent and is hard working but in personal relationships , he has always created a mess. With me , he is so sweet when i am sweet .but when he gets angry , he gets so mad that he calls me names that i can't even ever think about anyone. he has very sharp mood swings. he gets too excited at something good and gets totally turned off at even a small thing unpleasant that happens. he has a problem trusting me.  he used to smoke and drink at times, he drinks a lot of caffeine too.  he talks a lot and loses track of what he is saying, goes on and on, i have never seen anyone who can talk so much. he just goes on and on, and thats what he needs- someone to talk to. he goes in extremes to help me out too. i sometimes feel he is not mentally sound so i shud leave him. but then i also love him too much for the nice things he does and the way he just depends on me and no one else. he says that he used to lie a lot in his childhood but he doesn't lie anymore, but i get a feeling that he lies even now with me. when he does something he doesn't realize what he is doing, only when i tell him later or when he is out of that loop, he realizes and feels guilty about his actions.  he has done wierd things in past , like once he agreed to marry a girl just becoz she was in a terrible shape. sometimes i get a feeling that he is lying to me sometimes that he is completely honest.

Please advice if he is ill or its just that i am getting paranoid.

Thanks.

Dear Ms. S' -- 
Whew.  Too tough.  Can't tell from that info' whether he's : a) bipolar, as you may have suspected given that you're writing here; or b) a very emotional guy who doesn't deserve a diagnosis necessarily but might do well seeing a therapist; or c) a bit on the "antisocial personality disorder" side (read about that, for starters).  Will he see somebody, just to see what they recommend for him (and for you)? 

Dr. Phelps