Dear Dr. Phelps,

I know I told you I quit my p-doc. I was trying to go it alone. I thought that maybe off all meds I could "find myself" again.

The last p-doc made things worse anyways and wouldn't believe or listen to me.

I've been rapid cycling very badly and felt like I was getting the flu all the time. I finally just called my MD and said I was at the end of my rope.

I'm now on Depakote, 500mg a day. I got a glimpse of what this does. One night, after being on it for 2 days, I felt my mind calmer. The over-thinking thing calmed down. I got very emotional. I thought is this what it's all about?

It's now day 5 on Depakote and still having rapid changes. Every day I'm different. I know it's not just me, it's this BP, I can feel it and I feel sick all the time. It's not the Depakote either. These flu like symptoms include the chills and a low grade fever sometimes.

I haven't had another glimpse of that benefit again. It went away. I know I need to get my dose up higher. I'm calling my MD Mon.

I keep feeling like this rapid cycling thing should be a concern and it should be taken more seriously.

I asked my MD about my different pupil sizes, they are very different. He brushed this off as genetic. There's no one in my family with this. I wonder can't he see if there's some swelling with my optic nerves with a quick look?

I feel like either this BP can make a person pretty sick or I really have a brain tumor.I feel embarressed but I want to push for getting an MRI.

I am also pushing to get a referral to another psychiatrist. I got a name of one from someone I know who I found out has BP. They spoke highly of this p-doc, so I'm aiming to see them.

I'm finally on my first mood stabilizer and feel like I'm finally on my way to getting better. Thanks,

             Jen

Dear Jen -- 
Glad to hear you're resolved to do this with an MD, as there really isn't any other practical way at this point; and that you're going to try to find one you feel comfortable working with.   I'm going to defer to the doc' you find from here, as I wouldn't want to contribute to the problem by further input that might interfere with your working together.  Good luck with that. 

Dr. Phelps




Dr. Phelps,
Just wanted to let you know I'm seeing a new p-doc and finally being believed and helped.
I know I wrote you alot, I was in despair at times with this. I have BP2(probably) and rapid cycle. I have full mania on anti-depressants.
I told the docter several examples of my OCD behavior, she said it's likely that is in this too.
I'm on Depakote, 1000mg a day now and my blood level looks good.
I felt like after giving you the "story" of everything, I wanted to let you know the happy ending.
At the About.com forum for BP, we are all wishing you a Merry Christmas!
Jen

Dear Jen' -- 
That's great news; thanks for passing it along.  I hope this "better" stays for you.  Thanks for the holiday wishes.

Dr. P.