I am a 29 year old female who was diagnosed with psychosis NOS back in February of 2003. Before that I was on Paxil a very small dosage for depression. I knew something wasn’t quite right with me after the birth of my second child in March of 2002. I didn’t feel a bond with her at all. She cried alot, and no matter what I did just didn’t seem to help. My children are 16 months apart, and I was a stay at home mother, so it was a very demanding job. I guess it became too much for me to handle and I finally snapped. My husband and I were having marital problems, and the stress of that put me over the edge.

I let my housework go, I could barely take care of myself let alone two children. I would call for help from family and friends whenever I could. My sister and one of my friends realized something wasn’t right I guess. Anyways my mother and my Aunt ended up taking me to my family physician, whom I had seen the week before and at that visit I had lost 10 lbs within a week. So my Dr. sent me to the hospital, and from there I was transported to a psychiatric intervention center and then onto the “crazy hospital”. By that point I could barely speak, I didn’t know where I was or who I was. I was having delusions, which was very scary for me. The hospital put me on meds, I remember them giving me Ambien to try to get me to sleep, but that didn’t work for me and the week I spent in the hospital I couldn't sleep. Finally when I was released a week later, they sent me to outpatient therapy.

When

I got home I started to hallucinate, and I was still having delusions. All of this when I was at home taking care of my children. One day while I was having some kind of bizarre delusion, my neighbor across the street from me was over and I physically attacked her, what’s bad about that was she was only 12 or 13.  That sent her mother over to my house, and when my husband answered the door she said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with your wife, but she’s crazy, next time I’ll call the cops”. As time went on I got better, but my husband filed for a divorce. I ended up coming to stay with my parents for awhile, but me and my husband ended up back together after about a month. Things were going good for awhile, but being at home all the time with the kids got to me. So I started to go out to the bar every week, usually by myself. I liked the attention that I recieved from there. But then I started using drugs, and sometimes I wouldn’t come home at night. When my homelife started to get bad again, my husband throwing things at me, verbally attacking me, emotional abuse, and so on, well I started to go to the bar more often. When I did come home in the morning my husband usually had deadbolted the door, and wouldn’t let me in, so I put my fist through the living room window. Of course he called the police, but they couldn’t do anything because it’s not considered breaking and entering into your own home. Finally my husband had enough of my behaviour, and he filed for a divorce for the second time. And here I am now divorced, with both of my children living with him, because of my drug using and drinking. I have supervised visits with my children, and I still attend therapy. Several months ago I had a spell, and I burnt myself with my cigarettes. I have five nasty scars on my left forearm. Right now I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I have been seeing for almost 8 months, and I finally have a job interview for a dietary aide at a assisted living facility. It will feel good to go back to work after 5 years. It gets pretty old sitting at home and having no money.  But piece by piece my life will get back together.

If anyone would like to e-mail me please feel free my

e-mail address is amysnyder2975@yahoo.com

 

 

 

 

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