This is a journal of my life throughout the years, it goes as
1. Extensive use of
drugs and alcohol.
2. Lying, cheating,
stealing and getting into fights.
3. Getting into trouble
with the law.
4. Almost kicked out of
military for my actions.
5. Marriage was in
6. My child is still
frightened on me (somewhat).
7. My family is in debt
because of me.
8. Very abusive
Things that have changed recently due to diagnosis and
1. I can sleep better at
2. Wife and kid are starting
to trust me more.
3. More calm headed, easier
to get along with.
4. I don't feel tense as
5. I don't bite my
6. I don't tap my feet when
sitting down anymore.
7. More attention spans.
8. Slowed down speech.
9. Less tendencies to spend
10. Easier to along with in morning.
This is the story of my disease and me. I was born in New York over 32 years
ago. My childhood was somewhat normal except that I was a quite deviate child
and that I could get into trouble without my parents knowing. As time went on
I got into trouble as a teenager and I now couldn't cover up the trouble, as
there was too much of it around me. I would constantly break things, steal
from people, use drugs and alcohol all of the time, get into fights and many
more bad things.
Around June of 1988 I graduated from high school and this really scared me
because I had a shelter (school and home). I lived for a few years home
and moved out when I met my future wife. We had a rocky relationship and we
always had fights where I would call her mean names and break things. Years
down the road we got married and went into the military hoping I could escape
everything- wrong, actually things didn't change at all.
I was in the
military over 7 years and got into a lot of trouble, went to anger management
classes about 5 times and was referred to mental health. Metal Health in the
military isn't cut out to be what it is. They told me to settle down and
relax, not knowing what was wrong with me. While in the military back in 1996
the wife had a daughter and things still didn't change. I separated from
the military September of 2000 and moved back to New York, another mistake.
My family and I
lived in New York for about 8 months which was very stressful due to the
following- my mom getting diagnosed with Bipolar and being put into State
Hospital 3 times, daughter breaking her leg sledding, and last of all me getting
laid-off from my job.
My family and I
moved here in May of 2001 for a job that I got hired for. Awhile after I
got here problems started to arise again and it got to the point where the wife
and kid wanted to move away. I was fighting with everyone and even my boss was
getting sick of my attitude.
Well at this point
knowing what was wrong with my mom I call the psychiatrist office and set up an
appointment to see him. He diagnosed me with Bipolar and gave me medicine. Ever
since I've been on the medicine I have come back to reality and I feel better
about it. I still have bad days but I'm learning to deal with it.
Some Stesser Points That I didn't mention in the story about New York
1. My mom denying the diagnosis of Bipolar.
2. My family and I not having a normal life,
knowing what was going
to happen day to day.
3. Frantic calls from my mom in the hospital.
4. Having to go to court for a protection order
5. Getting calls from my mom when I was at
my work didn't
6. I went through a major depression when all
was going on.
In closing, I always wondered why things were so tragic was happening with me,
and now that I know I'm working so hard to make things better. It's day by day
for the rest of my life. My advice for anyone who has gone through this, go and
get help. Well gotta to close now and enjoy life.