well i don’t even know where to begin. I have been in and
out of
major
depression for as long as i can remember, I would have my
friends
over it would be
so great then when it was time for them to leave i would
fall
into a major
depression for days. I was in and out of it that fast.
Then when
my parents split
and told me that the only reason they stayed married for as
long
as they had
was for my brother so he could finish school, and i thought
ok
but what about
me i still had 6 yrs to go. Then also after they divorced
my mom
became an
even worse alcoholic and i never talked to my dad so there
i sat
age 13 to do
whatever i could because i was always home alone and i had
plenty
of friends that
were from the wrong crowd to get into trouble with. I was
having
unprotected
sex and began takin drugs and drinking any chance i had.
that
lasted for about
a year then my mom decided to settle down with her new
boyfriend
and thought
she was gonna try to be a mother now after i had been
running
loose for a year
doing whatever i pleased. So that lead to huge fights and
then to
physical
abuse from her so i left to move in with my dad who i
barely knew
because he
worked 24-7 and was never home or around. He had moved on
to
re-mary a woman that
was only 10 years older then myself. She was over baring
and very
money
hungry she made sure dad kept a tight lease on me by not
letting
me go out with
friends or let me have friends over either. Little did i
know she
was doing drugs
and that explains why she would be one way today then
tomorrow u
wake up and
she was the worse person to be near! So i had to go through
her
ups and downs
trying to benifit from the ups as much as i could but it
was
making my
depression worse because i had to live with her rules and
drug
abuse.i went through a
few horible relationships then went on to get married to
the
greatest man
ever who has been throgh this all and stood by my side.
After the
bitrh of my
first child six months later i fell into a deep depression
worse
then any i had
felt all my life so i decided to see a doctor who began me
on a
regimen of
przac and synthroid. Then i hit my first manic high and i
was on
cloud nine life
could not been any better. So my husband and i began trying
for a
second child
and when we found out i was perganant i stoped all meds
cold
turkey in fear
they may have an effect on my baby. During that time i fell
deeper and deeper
into a sever depression then after her birth i hit my
lowest time
when i actully
wanted to die! I began taking my meds the day i had her and
have
SLOWLY been
trying to regain my life back for the past 3 years. Ihope
this
will hepl
someone else who may feel like this too. Its hard but if u
keep
trying u can
eventully get back to a normal life and feeling. thanks for
your
time jennifer mckim