Kevin's Groove

Here we have a young man with a lot of promise at the verge of a lot of confusion. Kevin was a smart guy. Young black man
without a care in the world. Why? He was considered by many to have a "brilliant mind", though he didn't understand it. Just
thought he was normal. He was in college with a lot of "brilliant minds" who also had his credentials: a 3.5 and high exit exams.
He was a talented kid who was an actor a dancer and a vocalist with a lot of promise. Right now, however, Law Schools were
looking for him. In college, he never really had to study much or do any work. He would do things like research and write a 20
page term paper in two hours and get an A regularly. Now, he's looking at Columbia and USC for Law; two top tier schools. 

He gets his applications out about a month late. For some reason, over the past few months his mood has changed rapidly and
drastically and he cannot seem to stay awake during daylight hours. He's tried everything: caffeine pills, sleeping pills,
NOTHING seemed to change his pending porblem which he viewed to be just a sleep disorder or something. His grades from
the previous semester to that semester went from 3.63 to 2.8 with him not even capable of handling the easiest of courses. Ah
who cares, his transcripts would have everything BUT this semester, so it won't effect his law school acceptance any. Falling
asleep during the LSAT? That effected him. But not much.

One school gave him money, the other gave him a waiting list. Off he goes to USC in Los Angeles. He gets there in mid "bad
mood" and realizes a few things: The alacrity with which he approached the idea of being a lawyer has all but gone. Now he
dislikes lawyers and people studying to BE lawyers (granted, with good reason. I mean, who likes lawyers?). He realizes one
major thing: he must perform as he did throughout college. He's in L.A. and he has an overwhelming desire to decide if he can
be the next great actor or dancer. He quickly finds some success as the latter on a weekly television show that features dancers
that soulfully dance down a train of dancers. The name of said show will not be revealed...

He was bewildered at the ease of Law School. "Lemme get this straight" he says to a fellow class mate after the first week,
"We only have to read like, 100 pages per class per week, take notes and then there is only ONE exam at the end of the
semester per class? All of which are OPEN BOOK??!? And this is not cheating HOW?" Seems easy enough, but soon he
feels like a race car driver in a race with cyclists and his gas pedal does not work. He can't bring himself to read any of his
work, go to any of his classes, or do ANYTHING of the sort. Hell, he finds it hard to even get out of bed and doesn't
understand it. I mean, it's an "easy race" but he is doomed to be viewed as a "loser" when he can easily win it. His undergrad
was a feeder into EVERY major law school in the nation. 

The most agonizing part of this to anyone similarly situated is the scoffing by his peers. Quite often NO ONE understands his
situation. After discovering he has a sleep disorder by a doctor who refuses to prescribe medication, Kevin is at a loss. He
knows what his problem is but has no recourse. He is too tired even to make it to his doctor's appointments at school.

"Kevin, why are you always missing classes? You really need to get on the ball! You aren't taking this seriously!" say those
who are studying to BE lawyers. 

"I have a sleep disorder". The comment is met with laughter. You ask why I don't like people studying to be lawyers? We are
graded on a curve. Anyone's failure is to the benefit of everyone ELSE. I seemed to be out of the running for "blowing the
curve". I didn't want to say that my disorder is because I didn't want to appear "crazy". 

The problem is that quite often, you are greeted with ridicule and misconceptions when others do not know what "cyclothymia"
is. I had it for a while and even I didn't know what it was. What I THOUGHT is what could be dangerous:

1. I thought there was just something wrong with me and that I was just lazy.

2. I thought I was just not adjusting well to a new environment.

3. I thought it was all my fault and I couldn't get anything done. Not fully understanding my situation I was left with mere
suicidal tendencies...

 

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