name is Kim and im 27 years old. I was born in a small town in California
called Vallejo. I have no recognition of it since my
left the state before or
after my first Birthday. Most of my memories come from Texas
where i was raised. At age 8 is when i first have recognition
getting what i now know was
emotions. I remember going to a family reunion at my Aunt Margies
man there were people everywhere. Only there was one in particular
that i will never forget.Her name was Ruby. I remember her
up to me and telling me how cute i was. Meanwhile I'm thinking
this women was nuts. I'd never seen her a day in my life. She
the statement to me and asked me when i was going home with her???
I told her i would go home and pack and be on my
did i know My Mom would actually make me go to "IDAHO"! Luckily
after crying my eyes out to my oldest sister she came to
rescue and went with me for support. I was there only a year but
remember having mixed thought that i wasnt wanted by my
and i couldnt understand or will i ever understand "WHY"
1982 I was finially able to reunite with my mother coming back to Texas.
The year i returned I was really in for a surprise. I
dealing with things from my Grandfather that no kid should ever experience
period. Yes. The sexual abuse.If that wasn't
what little time i got to spend with my biological father has left me with
a lifetime of memories of the sexual abuse from him
At age 12 my mother met her 4th husband and decided to marry. They talked
of moving to Tennessee where i live now. Having
about it for a few weeks I remember my head spinning with thoughts.
I carried with me to Tennessee and extra set of
which contained the secrets of the sexual abuse swearing i would never
tell anyone. I felt so alone and so ashamed. After
to Tennessee thinking the nightmare was over i began having female problems.
My mother wanted to take me to the Dr and
me checked out. I began to panic. She told me what they would
do in a pap smear. And all i could think was that i had to find
to tell mom before she found out i was no longer a virgin. So I told her
with the help of a neighbor. I was never asked if i wanted
see a counselor or did I ever seek help until i was age 18 on my own.
I couldnt bear to relive the story so i dropped the therapy. At
18 i had my first son. I was so happy thinking I finially had someone
in my life i could truly trust. A healthy Baby boy,He
perfect to me in everyway and i couldnt have asked for a better behaving
child. At age 5 it all started. He began acting out and
off school buses. He went into the hospital and they diagnosed him as
Depression. After being hospitalized 2 more times they diagnosed
him with BiPolar, This has been really hard since i have
recieved treatment myself. I now know that a Manic Depressant
which is what I was diagnosed with is the same thing as
at 27 i fear everything normal. I fear being normal I guess. I know
I must now seek treatment to be able to help my
is on 4 diffrent medications at the present time and i keep telling myself
if he can do it i can too. But its not that easy since
is one of the things i fear most. I also have a heart murmer and mitral
valve prolapse which im on no medication for. It
gotten to the point where i look at "TYLENOL" twice before taking it.
In 1993 i got married and had my second child in 94'.
the road would be better I found out my daughter was legally Blind having
an eye disorder called Achromatopsia,So with
little sanity i have left i have dedicated it to seeking help for my kids.
I now know that its time i start helping myself,In closing if
out there would care to just talk or lend a few gentle words of advice
you can email me at the following address.