I live in Australia. I am
married and have two children. Ten years ago after the birth
of my daughter I was diagnosed with Post-Natal Depression when
she was eight months old. I was hospitalized and heavily
incidence was frightening and bewildering. It was also a
relief to be treated with care and have medication to control
hallucinations of a eeire nature. Eventually I left my
husband for about three months as I found life unbearable for
a whole variety of reasons. We reconciled and had another
child. When he was about two or three I was diagnosed with
I remember the
psychiatrist telling it will be a long road to recovery.
Sure is. We have
been through two more separations, three suicide attempts and
many many mood swings. My husband is never too sure what Iíll
be. But we are together and do love one another. If we can
survive this we can survive anything.
I have recently
been having panic attacks (the last year) and I do not like
this little one coming onto the scene. Iím a rapid cycler and
have tried to educate myself the best I can with as much
literature as I can. I also take respite care every two to
three weeks to ďstay wellĒ. I have been hospitalised about
twelve times - whether its depression, or starting different
medication and Iíve demanded hospitalization, or a manic
I take epilem and
Also I having my
son assessed to see if he suffers from bipolar, one thing I am
sure of is he does have depression reoccuring.
I really have
been put through a wringer. Itís taken a long time to accept
my condition and even longer for my husband to understand. He
still doesnít understand and I think its perfectly normal for
him to feel frustrated and angry at times.
after the storm has hit. Usually its difficult when Iím manic
as Iím near impossible when its the irritable manic state. My
husband reckons he canít tell me to take medication for it. A
lot of my different medications are taken when needed. Over
the years Iíve stopped certain ones and I find I react more
with side effects as I get older (I am nearing 40ís).
At the moment
life feels normal but believe me about a fortnight ago it
wasnít but that is what its like being a rapid cycler - never
ending mood changes with paranioa thrown in.
Whilst its not
fun, itís a learning curve. When Iím ďhappy manicĒ (Iíve
never been fully blown manic but nearly there) Iím the best,
Iím brilliant etc.
Good luck on your
own journey of the agony and escasty of bipolar disorder.
Please read and
educate yourselves on anything you can grab on bipolar, ask
your doctor thousands of questions, demand your rights etc.
I have had my
ďpits of hellĒ and donít wish it upon anyone. There is never
any light at the end of the tunnel when its like that, but
with anti-depressants at least I can get relief and itís never
ever fast enough.
Zyprexa is really
helping me at the moment and I am feeling more ďnormalĒ than I
have for a long time. If you suffer from bipolar you will
know this is a big statement. Iíve got to admit Iím scared
some sort of side effect will mean I have to come off it but I
hope not but the fear is there.
In the past Iíve had problems
remembering to take my medication but now I am so religious
about it - its crucial.