Short Story of My Recovery
Road So Far.
I am writing this, to tell my story so others
can have hope and you can get to know me better. I am writing this,
so others can be more comfortable with their mental illness symptoms so
that they could learn how to let their symptoms heal them. I am writing
this to help others get the big picture, that mental illness can fit in
overall life story as one of their greatest blessings. I am writing
this so that others can be comforted by knowing that mental illness can
come from an ordinary physical, genetic, or traumatic wound. Wounds
can heal when we cooperate with our healing processes. I wish I had
known all of this at the front end of my illness, instead at the back end.
I was good at science, math, and counseling
over the phone as a high school student. I wanted to teach and counsel,
but I was too shy. I decided I would have to solve my shyness problem,
before I could assist others. I searched to discover how to recover
from my shyness at the Long Beach California Main Library. I could
find no wisdom there of any use to me. So I gave up, and then two
things showed up at my high school. Recruiters for the Marine Reserves
and for an Engineering Co-op Program at the Long Beach Naval Shipyard.
I did not realize until later that these recruiters
were parts of my answers to my quest. I had also wanted to find out
why I had no second wind and was deaf in my left ear. The Marines
taught me more about speaking up for myself and challenged my hearing and
short windedness. I continued to push myself into more responsible
positions where I have had to speak up for myself and others, and to challenge
my fatigue and hearing.
Everything was going well until I had a series
of more and more difficult bosses and a more difficult personal life.
When I hit my personal bottom, I decided to go to a two week spiritual
retreat to discover my missing energy. In the long run I found my
boldness and my second wind and my answers to my questions. They returned
in the form of a whirlwind of energy. That energy turned into what
was later diagnosed as schizophrenia and then later as manic depressive
illness. The manic part was certainly more fun than the depressive
part. The terror running through my body was no fun, but I had learned
enough discipline from the Marines to watch this terror and I found that
the objective of my terror was to heal me. Parts were very difficult
alone and parts where it was best that I was alone and parts were where
I did need some assistance from some meds and family. I also was
over medicated by doctors that I finally had to let go and find one that
would work with me.
I experienced my manic depressive recovery
processes first hand for 7 years starting in 1982. I discovered I
had recovered from most of my shyness and chronic fatigue as a part of
my mental illness recovery processes. My illness was a blessing
in disguise, to solve the challenges I had set out to conquer in the first
place. I had to demonstrate that I really wanted to recover by my
actions and then to let go and let recovery happen. It helps to have
the perspective that can come with some grey hair.
It took me seven years to integrate my returning
energies in my difficult second birth. I discovered that I had lost
my energies and hearing when I was wounded by the doctor's forceps in my
difficult first birth. In my recovering processes, I discovered some
of the ways that recovering works. That is why I call my new career
as a Coach that has been there and done that. The good news is that
I became a more whole person. The other good news news is that
I am continuing to grow and learn. That is part of the recovery process.
I hope that what is here and what I publish
daily on the recovery processes is enough for your self recovery.
When it is not enough you can click on my card below and check on additional
information about me and what working with me involves. When you
tell me your story, it is not likely that I will not have experienced some
form of that experience. I also experienced a process I call Christian
Kundalini. I use the term Christian, since Jesus is the one that brought
me through the whole process until today. What is "Kundalini"? Random House
Webster's Electronic Dictionary 1.0 says "kun-da-li-ni (koon dl ee'nee)
n. 1. (in yoga) a vital force at the base of the spine that is activated
by exercises." I would add that the exercises are spiritual exercises.
The spiritual exercises are different forms of forgiveness and acceptance
and and cooperation with spirit and concern for all. That is what
I teach now. Our vital force will answer to the term Holy Spirit, or any
other term that means spirit of God to where you are right now. God is
quite capable of introducing himself, and his son, and does not need others
to tell others who he is. Especially, when they do not really know themselves.
The good news is that kundalini can be a faster way
to find your spiritual connections. The bad news is that it can be a most
difficult way to find your spiritual connections and has risks. I also
teach less risky ways to remove our blocks to our enlightenment. They are
still forms of forgiveness, acceptance, cooperation, and concern for all.
The other bad news is that we only gain spiritual rebirth through the kundalini
process. We are still left with the challenge of letting God grow
us up again...
I experienced weeks of terror, months of fears, years
of uncomfortableness, visions, voices, aloneness, helplessness, boredom
and much else. I can now go with anyone to their terrors inside and
show them ways home. I experienced more understanding fellow patients
than hospital staffs or doctors. When you are interested and determined
to find more health and happiness for yourself, I can be of assistance
to you on your recovery road.
I have been making a "Home of Practical Mental
Health Information on Generic Spiritual Recovery Processes" here at
and my prodigy site since June 1996. There are many resources on
mental health. There are very few that have recovered from mental
illnesses that are providing resources to help others recover. I
am looking for other success stories. Having been there and experienced
that, provides a unique and more relevant perspective from my perspective.
I wished for someone like me to assist me, when I went through my recovery
What I do now is continue to practice about
99 practical generic spiritual skills that I also teach to whoever really
wants to learn them. All these skills have Forgiveness, Assertiveness,
Consciousness, and Teamworking [FACT] as a part of their essence.
These skills worked and work for me and all the others that I know about,
when you work them and I work them. These skills are designed to
take anyone closer to spirit. Some people hire me as a temporary
friend that can help them when they are ready to take responsibility for
their own recovery. One of these friends wrote: "I started
out to hire a friend and ended up having a spiritual brother who encouraged
my soul." and "I felt that you could feel my pain and see the warts on
my soul, but not turn away form me or get caught up in them. You
consistently projected a healing and intelligent caring."
When you are interested in how I now look at
mental illness you can go to my updated letter
Mental Health to Tipper Gore.