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Mood and Mood Stabilizers I would like to say a few words about mood stabilizers. While most of us are on them, the people we interact with have no clue as to all of the biochemical waltzes that are swirling through the convoluted folds of our brains. Sometimes whenever someone is giving me a hard time, (i.e. sales persons, telemarketers, etc) I have to smile because if it weren’t for those handy dandy little mood stabilizers, I would most likely tear their heads of like I deadhead my summer flower blossoms. Is it just me or is every single person in the world in a bad mood when I am in a “good” mood? Is it just me or is every single person in the world in a good mood when I am in a “bad” mood? Certainly seems that way for me and I imagine it does for many of you bipolar readers as well. There is nothing as exasperating as being in a good hypo manic mood and nobody to share it with. When I’m feeling good I want everyone I cross paths with to be up there with me. Actually, I’ve found that those nagging telemarketers rather enjoy my bubbly mood when I tell them quite succinctly yet happily to get lost. There are times I don’t want my mood to be stabilized. I want to be sad or cry. Or I want to be extremely manic and can’t. And yes, before any of you send me flack email, I am not by any means suggesting that we go off of our stabilizers. I am merely pointing out that there are certain times when a good old fashion “mood” comes in handy if not necessary. Embarrassing is the funeral going individual who for the life of them, can not force themselves to come down from a bipolar high. Same can be said of the partygoer who has slipped into a depressive mode and becomes the unlife of the party. There is one area when I am thankful that my mood is stabilized…during an argument with loved ones. Sometimes it does not make an iota of a difference how angry they may be at or with me, but I’m just numb from the stabilizer and cannot for the life of me be angry and engage in the argument in a manner they see as fit. Basically, I just don’t care to be that way and biochemically speaking; I CAN’T get into the anger mode. Such gaiety isn’t appreciated by the offended party to which you then commit the crime of being “not there” for them or “ignoring” their wishes. They complain when we have bad moods, they complain when we go manic and do foolish things like spending sprees, and they complain when we cannot remember things from the day past. And damned if they don’t complain about us NOT being in “the mood”. Sigh…damned if we do and damned if we don’t. One thing I have observed with the “normals” (normal being a highly relative term) is that they have ups and downs. When I’m in a nice, even mood, their outbursts over nothing seem to come off as childish and petty. If they could only hear and see themselves. Or when they start whining about something that is so minor and trivial that you just want to smack them. Bipolar disorder is real. It cannot be cured. It will not go away. It is a progressive disease of the brain. And they think they have problems. |
